Author's Note: I am currently reading a book called Deadline and the main character in this story has just learned that he is to die in a year due to a blood disease that is very rare and aggressive. He had just turned 18, therefor being considered a grownup, does not have to tell his parents and can make choices for himself. He has a younger brother named Cody in the same grade as him since he started school late, he lives with his father and a mentally- retarded/ suicidal mother, he has his coach to support him: a close family friend and a man that lost the love of his life during high school and never met anyone ever again, and Dallas, a teenage volleyball star that everyone loves including him that REALLY LOVES her. Now that we have some background info, here is a bit of up to date: Ben Wolf is dying and decides to live an entire lifetime in his remaining year and not get treatment, he is "spiritually visited" in his dreams by "Hey-hoos" (Spanish for Jesus), he wonders if "Hey-hoos" is him reflected but later decides it isn't, meets a man named Rudy that is the town drunkard and one of the most interesting characters that I really wish to tell you about but can't because I don't wanna be a spoiler, Ben is a track senior star that tries out for football in his last year of high school with his brother and makes it, he is dating Dallas Suzuki now and has met her "younger bro" which I want to say something about but won't, and this is a crazy amazing book that you have to read sometime soon! Okay!
Playing on the edge of this cliff is Ben Wolf. Living his last year to the fullest is Ben Wolf. Taking risks and chances is Ben Wolf. Trying to figure out his life is Ben Wolf. Could Ben use some help with his life? Does he need help with his trials? Does he want us to help him be born and grow old in a year? Does he need anyone to slap him to his senses and back away from the cliff? Apparently not. If I was in his place, honestly, I don't know what I'd do. Wolf has understood and has a feeling that even with treatment he will never make it and for that reason, decides that instead of spending his life in a hospital death bed, he will run wild and live free. When a person realizes that life is short, they suddenly become aware that every moment should be lived to the fullest and not wasted. I truly don't understand this, but I think that I can explain it.
Sometimes we, being humans, easily take things for granted. It is only until we lose it we see that what we had was a beauty. Life is something we blow off: "I'm here today, I'll be here tomorrow." But what if we knew that we wouldn't be here tomorrow. Our future that we dreamed of is no longer real. Whether it was having prince charming sweep you off your feet, be a lead guitarist in a band, travel deep space, invent a time machine, or just grow up, get married and be happy, it all just disappeared with the words "I'm sorry, you results came back, you are dying." Three words could demolish an entire life.What would you do in your last year to live. Like Wolf would you keep it a secret and live to the fullest or would you tell everyone you know and have them come over and comfort you for the last year. Now that I think about it, I'd be silent. Having those "I'm Sorry" looks doesn't suit me. If I had told anyone that I was dying, I really would die.
Every moment people staring, whispering, and apologizing would just leave me cold, empty, and wanting more. If I told everyone, I'd always be reminded that I only had a year left. Maybe, just maybe, if I had a second chance, I'd take it all back and only reveal my secret as I lay dying in a hospital bed. Knowing myself, the day I lay in a hospital bed taking my last breaths will be the day I will stop seeing this mirage. Everything we see around us is a mirage. The sun shining from behind the clouds proving to us there is another day or the soft breath of a lover against your face reminding you that there is something that will be with you forever is just another long and everlasting dream. One day when we all fall into an eternal sleep is the day we will truly come to our senses and wake up. Today we spend hour hoarding money, games, jewelry, makeup, and desires only to lose them the next. As long as the hot blood of hard work runs through your veins you will survive; when it runs cold, it will be your final goodbye.
Your blood is running cold every second of your life. Every time that second hand ticks you die a little more. There never is a guarantee that there will be another tick though. Maybe what Ben Wolf did was right. Knowing a secret that hurts us take a lot of strength, but keeping it kills us all in the end. It will only kill you and only hurt the others. Breathe like it's you last breath and live like it's your last moment. I'm dying as well as you, this world is my deathbed as well as yours, and I'm now slowly waking up from my dream and are you?
Author's Note: Done writing. And I have truly inspired myself... talk about good self-help. Maybe I should be a therapist or something... what do you think???? :) (That's the book cover and it's not upside down)
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| Easy Answer: EVERYTHING |
